Wandering is a Virtue

Like many, my upbringing was not perfect. Like many, it was often harrowing. And, again, like many, decisions made as an adult turned out less than stellar. My list of different kinds of jobs is extensive; likewise the places I have lived and people I have known. For a good long time, all this seemed like something to hide or to make excuses about.

Like I have to explain myself!

I look at it all now as a huge wandering - a searching. So much emphasis is put on having achieved enlightenment or completion or such. If you're not There, there's something wrong. If you gain knowledge in unusual ways, it is somehow suspect. These are lies, and can put you under the thumb of walking someone else's path.

I recently had a dream wherein three of my ex-partners* showed up all rolled into one and tried to distract me back into Obligation.** Everywhere I went, there they were, taking on shades of one or the other as their dominant face. I told them to go away, and they would shift. I felt chased, and annoyed. Not scared, but deeply vexed. They all wanted me to Come Back to somewhere and someone that I did not belong. To be someone they saw me as, ignoring who I actually am.

I was glad to wake up into the realization that I am who I actually am, and with the reaffirmation that my wanderings were really valuable things. I am glad to have had those experiences - to know these people for who they are, to have lived in the places I have, and even to have had the worst jobs I have. All of these I now view as gathered wisdom - I know how to spot what I do and do not want in my life. I know how to accept who I am and the power I have.

Odin is a wanderer - a constant searcher and observer. A maker of trouble (for himself and others), and a shaper of fate. He has taken on many roles for the experience and drops of wisdom to be found. His thirst for wisdom and knowledge is insatiable. He goes out and gathers it. Far and wide. He goes OUT.

Odin the Wanderer, By Georg Von Rosen 1895

So, an exercise: Think of one thing that you did or that happened to you about which you feel shame or try to hide. Shift your view a few steps back, and treat yourself as kindly as you can while you examine this instance. Avoid "should have" and put-downs to yourself or others involved. What did you learn? What wisdom from the situation has stayed with you, or can you glean from it with the benefit of time? Your experiences are valuable. Treat them as such.

The asterisks: * "Partner" is a heavy word, and implies a lot. In my view apartner is an equal, with equal rights, and compatible strengths and weaknesses. An ex-partner has either shown themselves untrue in some way, or unwilling to use their abilities.

**"Obligation" is different than duty. To me, Obligation is something coerced. There should not be coercion in a relationship (of any kind). Gebo teaches us a lot - exchange energy for energy, frith for frith, freely.