Runes and Grief 19: Gebo

Gebo, gift, exchange of energies, balancing relationships.

Times of grief can be extra hard if you find people on whom you thought you could rely are just Not There. There can be many reasons for their absence or silence, and that's fine as far as it goes. But the thing is, it hurts. It adds an extra layer of disappointment to an already awful situation.

At times, you will feel the flow of energy and care through the actions of those near to you - remember these times, and return their kindness with kindness. That is a fair give-and-take, returning same for same.

But what of those who could not see their way clear to lend you comfort? Each case has its particulars, and so must be considered individually. Some people indeed do not deal well with tragedy, but will be there for you in meaningful ways otherwise. Keep them close, but know there are limitations to their abilities or willingnesses. You, too, have levels of ability and willingness. Adjust these accordingly, going the extra mile for those who do the same for you.

For those who do not or can not or will not, accept this as a release from future obligation on your part. If they are hurting at some point, and you want to help, do. But if it is not something you feel comfortable with, cut yourself some slack. Do this especially if you resent their not having been there for you. Don't give with "I'll show them!" in your heart. Revenge-giving is not a healthy thing for anyone involved. If you freely want to help them in the future, of course, do so. You will be doing so with knowledge that this might be a one-way street.

If they surprise you later by stepping up, that's great.