Runes and Grief 14:

Tonight's Rune is Raidho. Movement, wagon, horse, to ride, journey.

Whether a wagon or a horse, Raidho relates to directed riding, rather than a freely-traveling animal. The rider decides where to go, how fast to go, and when to rest.

There will be times when it feels that you are in control of your grief, and times when it will seem grief has grabbed the reins and is running you ragged. Both of these situations are important for the healing process.

To be in control is to have a say over who is around you, what you can handle that day, hour, or minute, and getting things done (making appointments, settling out funeral plans, doing a job search, etc.).

When Grief is in control it means your mind might not go where you want it to, you might have zero energy to get anything done, and you might cry or rage until you feel you are being turned inside out. When you are in these moments - and it is important to be in these moments - it can feel like they will never end, that you will never stop crying or screaming or lying on the floor. You will stop, though. Grief does get tired, and hands back the reins.

So let yourself cry, scream, lie on the floor. Let yourself be overwhelmed sometimes. Do not try to stop that wild ride. Remember it is a passing thing, and don't make any permanent decisions while in that state, but know it's going to come out this way or some other way.

When you have the reins, do not drive yourself too hard. Make small lists of what needs to be done, and always put "rest" on that list. Do not drive yourself into the ground. Every step you do take in getting things done or moving forward counts, and will add up. It is not a one-day journey, and unlike Sunna and Manni, wolves will not swallow you up if you need to go slowly for a bit.