Runes and Grief 12: Jera

Tonight's randomly-pulled rune is Jera. Jera, harvest, year, time, turn of seasons.

They say time heals all wounds. Maybe, but sometimes scars remain.

Jera is made of two Kenaz facing each other. A torch, which is what Kenaz is taken to be in many cases, is a purposely made and directed light. We have some direction over what is shown in that light. As we see Jera, we see Kenaz facing both forward and backward.

At a time of harvest, as at a time of death, we see the results of what has been planted, and we try to look into the future to see what the grain will become, what legacy we or the person who has died will leave. Time will tell.

For those left behind when someone dies, there is a process of winnowing of memories, cast in new light now the person is gone. Some things we could not see while they stood with us become clear. Not everything is beautiful. Some seeds should not have been planted, but were, and grew into trauma.

As I have mentioned before, and want to emphasize again: We have choices to make. What will we plant? Many of us resolve to plant a different crop than our ancestors did. We try to plant healthy ideas, healthy actions.

It takes time to sort out memories. Images can shift, perspective is gained or changed. With Jera I am going to suggest an exercise. This is in no way meant to replace grief therapy, which can be quite helpful.

Think of a memory. Maybe not a great one, but nothing so unpleasant that you would cry or re-traumatize yourself. In a kind tone, interrupt the memory at a painful point and say, "That's not the choice I would make (now)." Continue. "I would do X instead."

We do not have the power to change the past. We cannot go back and replant. We do have the power to act now. Becoming a good ancestor involves examining what went wrong, and doing things differently. We will also make mistakes. We have the chance to at least make better mistakes.