In the Middle of It All

I am writing this in the middle (or in the ____ part) of a crisis. Why? Because a lot of things get written after, with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, but the actual process is seldom viewed while it is happening. Having gotten through something feels great - looking at a solved situation can make one feel powerful and big, and that's okay. But when stuck in a problem, feelings are not so hot.

Right now, I am feeling simultaneously numb, sad, and kind of skin-prickly. This is my stress response in emergencies. I know this. For many, it is not something they know yet - how their physical response to emergencies goes. That not knowing can add even more stress. Feelings of your heart being squeezed, dizziness, and all that can be something bigger, and should be looked at. In my case it's all part of the emergency reaction.

So, I know that. But what to do? Obviously, the addressing of the exact emergency will vary. Today involved a trip to the hos[ital, which has happened, and now I am home. Now the spiritual side of addressing the emergency.

Charity Hospital, New Orleans. Anonymous Photographer.

It is often the case that we think our gods will protect us by not letting anything happen to us; we don't get emergencies any more, because they are there for us. So there can be a crisis of faith if something does go wrong. Really, though, they are there with us to help us be our best emergency self. Going back to Naudhiz, we have to learn that we have, or how to get, what we need. We have to do that work. They are there to lend aid, wisdom, and strength, but they are not there to lift us out of the emergency with no other actions on our part or those of others (doctors, firepeople, therapists, etc).

Tonight I will galder, I will make bindrunes, and I will make offerings. But I will also schedule follow-up appointments, eat well, and take care of this body and soul. I will do my part.