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Do We Need to Know?

Many people come to a session looking for answers. A common question is "what did that mean?" it could be a peculiar dream, or an experience, but the search for the Why of the thing is at the forefront. Why did I dream of cheese every Wednesday for a month? Why did they do this, or that? Why did I...? We want to make sense of things. I like to think, so that we can make better decisions in the future.


Sometimes, the reasons are beyond us. There are things we just Don't Know. I write that and delete it, and write it again. It's so unsatisfying, and can be so vexing. For me, as a reader, I want to help the querent find answers, or at least find a way to find them. For me, as a querent, I want answers!


They are not always there for us to find, or to understand fully. In those instances, it's important to turn our questions around. Instead of the What Did That/They Mean, we can ask How Can I Move Through This Productively/Safely?

The importance of turning the question around is (at least) two-fold. One, when we are stuck in asking "what did it mean?" we are often putting ourselves at the mercy of the situation. I am not saying it is not important to know the why - not by a long shot. But I am saying Safety First, Analyze Second. If someone is acting in a way you do not understand, for example, the first thing to do is to be aware of the effects this is having and to ameliorate them however you can. Even if that someone is you.

I am going to use an amalgamated example. A person comes to me to find out Why their partner is violent toward them. While I am not a DV worker professionally, it is something I encounter pretty routinely. So, for me, the question is not "Why do I keep getting these clients?," but "How do I safely help them?" So I gathered DV information hotlines from around the country. And for them, the runes generally guide them to reconnect with themselves, a view with which I am in accord, and some directions on how to seek safety. The runes provide some insight as to which direction to go, and I transmit that. (It is more complex than that, but this is the basic breakdown of several encounters I have had.)


The second reason to turn the question around is that sometimes we can see the Why more clearly when we look at the What. On a political level, the What is who benefits? There you have found your Why. This can also apply on the personal level. The What To DO can get pretty complex, of course. The differences of tactics between how to get safely through/in a fraught political world such as the one in which we live and how to get through a fraught personal or spiritual situation can be stark.


But action must be taken if the situation is harmful.


After we reach safety, we can delve into the deeper Why.*


Expressionist Painting by Edvard Munch shows a man on the left, facing left, hand to heart. Joined to him by ghostly hair is an image of a woman, on the right, facing right. They are at the side of a lake. He leans against a tree in his sorrow.
Edvard Munch "Separation" 1896


*Note: Politically, yes, theory (Why) is important. I am not writing that off, but the immediate needs of people take priority. Therefore, free pantries and other community-organized endeavors are positive steps (What Do). Keep people alive to fight The Big Fight.



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